The odd seasons

Halfway through the year of 2026. I’ve always loved the even numbers. Given that my birth month, date, and year are all even numbers, it is just a thing for me. I’ll let you in on a nerdy fact about me - I set my alarm clock to twelves. It’s always 6:12 or 8:12… couldn’t even tell you why. Maybe it’s something that feels more structured. Because if a number is even, it can’t be “odd.” And I don’t like being odd…

This is an even number year, 2026… but quite a few things that feel "odd" about it so far. I can't even begin to explain how ready I am to get off of the job search roller coaster. It's truly nauseating. A lot of hope and then a plummet to disappointment. While it’s been fun to dream, read job descriptions, and imagine the possibilities, I've been so ready to have a plan again. I’m ready for another “big girl job.”

Each day requires the decision to trust God with the process. It's like I'm ready to put my heart into something again, but I'm still in a holding pattern.

A lot of my conversations with God lately have been less about what He wants me to do, and more about who He wants me to be when I do it.

Like He is doing something deeper than simply asking me to wait. I believe He's gently shaping my desires to more fully align with His plans for me.

I still want to love people with my whole heart. I still want to show up fully in the places God has me today. I still want to be faithful in the small things, generous with encouragement, and open to whatever He wants to teach me in this season.

Maybe that's what I'm learning halfway through this year. Maybe that's the irony. I've spent most of my life trying to avoid anything that felt odd, while God has quietly used the odd seasons to reveal what I really desire, expose the habits that need to change, and renew the thoughts that have been shaping me.

Halfway is a place on the calendar, not a posture for the heart.

I may be halfway through the year. I may be in the middle of waiting. I may not know what's next. But I refuse to live half-heartedly while I wait.

God is writing this season, and even this middle matters. And when the next “half” comes, I want to be ready. Not just if everything finally works out the way I hoped, but because He used the waiting to search my heart, reshape my desires, and make me whole.

Psalm 139:23

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