I love my family...

Love HARD!_August 2022

Someone told me recently that I "love too hard."

Because it was said in the midst of a difficult, heart-breaking conversation, it felt like something that's wrong with me & a reason for this person to leave. (maybe that wasn't the intention at all)

At the moment, I wasn't sure how to respond, but I've thought of that statement every.day.since, with great conviction.

I know that love is not always reciprocated. I've experienced that more times than I care to count & I've had to walk away wondering why...

But even then, that I "love too hard" is what I want someone to feel from me! If that is the impression I left on their life, then I'm ok with that!

Loving others is something God commands me do & He never promised that it would be easy. He even tells His followers to "love your enemies." ... wow. (Matt5:44)

It hurts deeply to love sometimes. I think married people & parents know more about that than I do!

There are many studies about love, how it is given & received by different personality types, or "love languages." But from that difficult conversation, the Lord convicted my heart, to return to His Word & be reminded of the impact of love, what it is/isn't & what love does/doesn't do!

(I Cor.13)

Jesus loved ME hard enough to sacrifice His life. I am blessed with family & friends who love me hard, in & through my messes.

As I start a new role in ministry, I am humbled & challenged to show the love of Jesus, in very real ways, meeting people in their needs & I'm inspired when I see people give sacrificially, out of love & care for complete strangers... It is true, the song that says "what the world needs now, is love, sweet love."

So, may my testimony always be that I "love too hard."

"By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” -Jesus

‭‭John‬ ‭13:35‬ ‭

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends..." 1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:5-8‬

Fathers Day Note: June 2022

The sound of a garage door will always remind me of my Dad's

& my God's unconditional love...

Some of my best childhood memories are from a season when we lived in a split-level house.

My bedroom was just above the left garage, where my Dad always parked. There were nights when Dad would be out, serving in other churches, preaching revivals, counselling or making visits, coming in after my bedtime. I'd hear that garage door go up & down & know my Daddy was home, our family was safe, all together again & I'd fall back to sleep with the greatest feeling of peace & security.

There were also times I'd be in trouble, Mom would send me to my room to "wait until your Dad gets home." When I heard that garage door, I knew what was coming; my punishment. Yes, I was spanked, those were painful moments. Sometimes I got a lecture & I dreaded those the most.

But in those times I never feared my Dad would leave me, or love me any less. At the end of the day, it wasn't shame & guilt I felt, but his forgiveness & grace & the safety & security of his presence.

Dad was quick to reward us even more for obedience!

It's the same way with God, the Father. Even in His chastening, when I must face the consequences of my sin, I know His discipline & correction is proof of His love for me. I sleep in peace every night as my guilt & shame are overcome by His forgiveness & mercy & grace & knowing He will never leave me! I always feel safety in His presence, I know His commandments are for my good, & oh what sweet reward I receive when walking in obedience to Him!!

I may not have understood it all back then, but I do now & I'm forever grateful for those garage door moments. This Father's day, I thank God for a Daddy who loved me enough, to teach me the importance of obedience, not just to him, but to my Heavenly Father.

Heroes_September 2018

40.

When a 21-year-old Bruce Glenn Freeman, III, and a 19-year-old Cindy Michael stood at Mount Olivet United Brethren Church in Virginia, on September 10, 1978 to become husband and wife, I believe a sovereign God looked into that sanctuary and said “I choose them!”

They had no idea what their lives would be as they said their vows to one another. Though they didn’t know Him yet, God have a plan for them!!

Bruce took a job as a D.J. at a nightclub in Charlotte NC, and Cindy rode off into the sunset as a young bride who just knew she loved her husband.

A month later, he met Jesus and was Called to Preach. A few years later she met Jesus while pregnant with their first baby. And just a few years after that wedding day, with two baby girls, an old car, and a Bible to their name, the love birds moved to Yadkinville NC to pastor at Peace Haven Baptist, to follow Jesus!

They were young and far from home, but they had each other. They were new believers, but they were sure of their calling. They were new parents, but had God-given wisdom. They built their home on the commands and truths of the Word of God and Honored Him with their lives and in their marriage.

For the past 40 years,

TOGETHER,

they’ve parented, pastored, prayed, and prospered. They’ve learned, laughed, listened, and lost. They’ve worshipped, wept, wondered, and witnessed. They’ve changed, counselled, celebrated, and cared. They’ve smiled, surrendered, suffered, and sung praises.

They’ve helped, hurt, hugged, and hoped.

And they’ve loved each other, unconditionally.

No, they are not perfect... In the Bible, the number 40 represents trials, testing, judgment... they’ve experienced some of that during their 40 years of sometimes not-so-wedded bliss... but they’ve still found favor with God, and they’ve kept their wedding vows:

For better, for worse.

In sickness and health,

For richer, for poorer,

To love and to cherish.

Theirs is truly a beautiful love story and by the Grace of God, it is to be continued!!

They dont seek praise or recognition, but I applaud them!!

I’ve never felt more proud, humbled and blessed to be their daughter, than I do today.

Celebrating 40 years!!

Mom and Dad, You’re truly the best, You’re my heroes, and I LOVE YOU!! HAPPY Anniversary!!!

Almost_June 5, 2015.

Eleven years ago today, I had my wedding planned. But God didn’t.

It’s not something I like to talk about, but seeing this date on the calendar reminds me of the lesson learned!! When my plans don’t align with God’s plans, then my plans must change!

I’ll never forget the night I took off the ring and said "I can't get married." It was only weeks before the “big day,” and we just knew. We fought too often and our relationship was struggling. I was very young, selfish, and made my plans for “our future” with no regard for this man and his heart. I kept trying to change so many things about him, to mold him into my world. Too busy planning that wedding day to see the red flags. While we both had a heart to serve the Lord, I was not ready to be a wife. Certainly not a preacher’s wife! I remember feeling helpless, afraid, and confused. This was supposed to be simple. It was everything my heart had planned, it was MY dream!

I dreamed of my wedding day – as every girl does. I loved my wedding gown, the diamond on my hand. We picked beautiful music, sent hundreds of invitations… But God said “not now, not him, not June 5.” I received great counsel, but ultimately it was the work of the Holy Spirit, and the Word of God that opened my eyes, and guided my next steps. When reading and praying over I Corinthians 13, the Lord showed me that I wasn’t living those precepts, and certainly not applying them in my relationship. So I had a choice: to plow forward with my own plans, or surrender to His!

Did I cry over that wedding gown that I never wore? Yes. Was it embarrassing to tell people the wedding was cancelled? Yes. Do I thank God every day for changing my plans? With all my heart – YES! There is not one ounce of regret, or bitterness in my heart toward the guy who almost became my husband. I know that he is serving the Lord with his beautiful wife and children, in an incredible ministry. I am thankful to him for helping me make the right decision, and for moving forward. It wasn’t easy for either of us. But the Lord was with us, and His plan for us was better!

I love working in youth ministry & if there is one message I will always share with people younger than me, it is to Trust the Lord's plans for your future. Whether you’ve grown up in church, had wonderful Christian parents, been taught the Bible all your life or not, don’t trust your own heart! As scripture teaches, our hearts are deceitful (Jer 17:9) Seek the heart of God. Trust the truth of God's Word, cling to the promises within it, and let Him direct your every step. Don’t let your dreams become so important to you that you refuse to let God have them!

What did I learn from that time in my life? That I cannot trust my own heart, nor should I take any steps toward my future without God’s Word guiding me. Though I haven’t “walked the aisle” as a bride, I do walk an aisle each day, the aisle of surrender to my Savior and Lord. It is a daily walk, a hard walk, a rewarding walk. Maybe I will be a wife someday. Maybe I won’t? Either way, I choose to trust the Lord. Proverbs 16:9 “A man’s heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps. “ I don’t consider the wedding that never happened as a “broken dream.” I just have a different dream now, and it is no longer MINE. I give it to Jesus. Because I know any dream of mine is far more precious to my Savior than it will ever be to me!!

Auntie Life is the Best Life!

My bestie - My sister